


With Every Measure, Sorrow Flies

by ominousrum



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, because angst is a dish best shared, major spoilers for 5x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 22:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14703675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ominousrum/pseuds/ominousrum
Summary: If she didn’t know she needed a heart to live, she would have fully believed it had simply dissolved away.





	With Every Measure, Sorrow Flies

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write angst to relieve myself of angst THAT’S HOW IT WORKS
> 
> major spoilers for 5x22 - title taken from Unchanging Window by Broadcast

Shock was a funny thing. It twisted into a soft place to fall when everything stopped making sense. From the moment Jemma saw the sorrow on Mack’s face she knew she’d have to pull shock close around her and sink into its timelessness.

Mack had pressed Fitz’s ring into her palm before wrapping his arms around her. She stood there, hollow, feeling the coolness of the band meld with the heat of her hand; feeling strands of her hair dampening as Mack cried. 

Shock eroded slowly despite Jemma’s best efforts to keep it near; once she recognized it fully there was no keeping it between her and the hole in her heart. If she didn’t know she needed a heart to live, she would have fully believed it had simply dissolved away. Her heart – her _home_ – had gone yet she was somehow tasked with living.

The team didn’t have any words for her – nothing felt weighty enough and they loved her too much for platitudes. May carefully pried the ring from her hand and threaded it onto a chain which Jemma blinked in confusion at – where had it come from? May pressed a swift kiss to the top of Jemma’s head after she clasped the necklace for her. Elena simply sat nearby, occasionally bringing Jemma a glass of water and gently wiping her face on a dry cloth.

Jemma wasn’t consciously crying, the tears just kept falling; her skin raw with salt. Somehow S.H.I.E.L.D. had saved the world from its own future destruction while simultaneously ending her future – _their_ future. She supposed three ( _four_ ) lives to save the world wasn’t a lot, really.

She wasn’t clear on how many hours had passed, only that Piper had taken over looking after Coulson’s vitals and monitoring the situation as best she could. Jemma tried not to think about all the hours in all the days she would be without Fitz – it was too heavy a burden to place on her tenuous hold on reality.

“Simmons?” Daisy gave a small knock on the doorframe of her room; Elena nodded and stepped out to afford them some privacy.

Jemma almost smiled, momentarily transported back to the Bus with their younger selves as she heard Daisy use her last name. A sharp pain caught in her lungs as her memory echoed how Fitz used to address her.

“I wanted to let you know Deke said he was planning to see the world – just in case you were wondering where he was,” Daisy said, watching Jemma’s face for a sign she would be welcomed closer.

“Fitz said if we broke the loop Deke would fade out of existence.” Jemma’s face crumpled – she hadn’t thought of that moment, it was too painful a thing to layer on top of her current emotional state.

“Well I prefer to think he’s just on vacation,” Daisy muttered, setting herself down beside Jemma on the bunk.

They sat in silence a few minutes before Daisy reached over to pick up the framed photo of Fitz and Jemma, matching grins betraying their naiveté. It seemed a thousand lifetimes had passed through everyone since then.  

“I’m sorry, Daisy,” Jemma whispered. “You two didn’t get-“

Daisy winced at her words, pain still bubbling under the surface.

“Not that you owed him any forgiveness, I’m just sorry that happened and now he’s-“

“Simmons-“ Daisy warned, her hand coming to rest on Jemma’s arm.

“It still doesn’t feel real,” Jemma’s voice broke as a fresh wave of tears washed over her cheeks, pooling under her chin, “I don’t want it to be real.”

“I know,” Daisy said, wrapping an arm around Jemma’s shoulders.

“Days ago we were all in _space_ together and now everything is just fragmented apart into a new nightmare.”

“Fitz set things in motion that helped us save the world-“ Daisy started, knowing full well the statement held more pain than joy.

“74 years-“ Jemma gasped, fingers fidgeting with the ring dangling from her neck.

“Simmons, what-“

“Daisy he’s still out there – in space!”

“The Fitz who hasn’t lived through this timeline?” Daisy offered, brow furrowing.

“Exactly. And since we’re now able to travel to space-“

“We might be able to find him-“

“And bring him home – back to Earth…” _To me_ , a thrum of longing beat into Jemma’s chest.

“That’s- well- yeah.”

“Tell me I’m not crazy,” Jemma said, desperately searching Daisy’s face, “please?”

“You’re not.”

“I’m not.” A smile fought for life on Jemma’s face, sore and red though it was.

“We’re gonna get him back,” Daisy said, face softening into a smile of her own as she gave Jemma’s hand a squeeze.

“A very smart, amazing woman once told me this is not how our story ends and I believe her…”


End file.
